Journals of an Intelsexual

Who I Am

I eat my own cum.

My girlfriend pegs me hard in my ass.

I don't have to know you, to suck your toes.

I have a true relationship with God.

I have multiple, sexual partners.

I eat pussy and suck cock.

I eat my cake and have it, too.

I am 100% committed to my lovers

I am not contradictory.

I am not complex.

I am not shallow

I am not deep

I am simply who I am.


'Ubakagi' by Ashkan Honarvar (Perverted by negative and embossing effects)

Eating Eye Candy

*click*

Damn, he is so pretty!

*Add as friend*

OMG! He accepted me!

He is a genius with his camera phone. Perfect angles of his abs made of gold bricks and perfect pectorals. Clicking through his photo album, because I'm his friend now I can see more shots...more flesh...more downward angles. I wish I could see the rest of his cock, but Facebook won't let him go further than his curly mound. I wonder if he's on Fetlife?

Why does he have to live so far away?

LMAO! We LOL at the same episode of South Park. He makes the funniest observations. Who would've thought someone so gorgeous could be so deep! He quotes famous authors and my favorite song lyrics. I love that he fights against gay bullying, he posts the latest articles. He's so current!

I wish I was smart enough for six pack abs, sometimes. The world would open up for me. I'm funny. I'm have thoughts. But I LOL by myself about shows no one knows about. Maybe if I could get closer to him, ingest him, I could pick up some of his trait? I could suck up his beauty. Eat enough of his good genes that I take then on. Why do you have to live so far away?

*click*

Hope he doesn't mind

*copy + paste*

This is just an experiment...

Will they like my updates?

Will they LOL

Will they OMG at my body...I mean, your body?

*56 New Notifications*

"Faces V" by Askhan Honarvar

"Ewww" + "Yum!" = ????

     Conflicting. Contradicting. Confusing. A strand of experiences swells in my mind, turning my stomach, activating my gag reflex; yet, hardening my erection. Have you ever experienced disgust and arousal simultaneously?
   The internal civil war excites me. Self-preservation dukes it out with my curiosity. My logic argues with the strange, silent pervert dwelling within. This conflict gives me the dissonance I've grown to really like; the sensation of being pulled in two different directions.
   There is also the element of fear during this dynamic. If I find a climax within the disgust, would that transform me in to the very thing I loathe? If I find the silver lining of pleasure within an otherwise fucked situation, would that take me a step further than curious? Is this the nasty broth of which fetishes are born?

The portfiloio of Daikichi Amono epitomizes the erotic-repulsive cocktail I speak of. When confronted by something toxic, I love the way my body responds. Launching adrenaline...Heightening my senses... I also love betraying my instincts, diving deeper into the danger. (Within reason, of course.)

Remember 'Beloved'?

Hey...

Do you remember this song?

The Artist...The Title...The Album

Are all unimportant.

What is important: the magic after the play button being pressed.

Beloved

Now do you remember?

This song used to put us in a trance. This song became an inevitable anchor, sinking us deeper into madness. Heightening our passion, 'Beloved' numbed the pain of being rubbed raw. The intro alone would clear the room, whether everyone left the premises or not.

The hypnotic lead harp would cast a deep shadow over bright summer afternoons. The subtle, rapid percussion would automatically cancel our plans. The way Yusef's horn moaned, inspired us to perform an impromptu performance. Whimper. Chatter. Yelp. Scream. Slap. We became a part of the ensemble.

Playing this song on repeat,

...Tuesday would fade into Thursday...

...Voice mailboxes filled to their capacity...

...Appointments became requests to reschedule...

Do you remember 'Beloved'? Do you remember the applause, the cheers? We truly believed the standing ovation was for us. We felt like we were fucking in front of an adoring audience. Or, did we feel like an orchestra was in our bedroom? Who was where is unimportant. What is important: the magic still there after the stop button has been pressed.

"Eden" by Denis Rouvre

"Beloved" by Yusef Lateef, in my opinion, is one of the sexiest songs every composed. The polyrhythmic percussion...The moaning horns...The seductive harp...There are countless erotic elements to this song. There are countless positions...countless experiments...countless orgasms, I have experienced to this record. There is an undeniable charge...

I just returned from seeing Yusef Lateef live at the Grace Cathedral.

For my review of the performance:

CLICK HERE

Welcome to The Dark Deluxe

If you haven't noticed, I have peculiar taste.

      Avant-garde and dissonant music. Strange and exotic cuisine. Crazy movies that gives me a headache. Anything experimental... Anything fresh... Anything the stimulates a strange response: I need it.
     This peculiar taste has proven to be an isolating quality. I've never met anyone who listens to the kind of music that's in my collection. Nor have I found anyone willing to go dutch with me at an expense, bizarre restaurant. There is a lot in my iPod and refrigerator that I have to enjoy alone. (And let's not get into my ill-fated, movie suggestions!)
     The primary purpose of this new blog is to put it out there. John Zorn. Visitor Q. Fernet Branca. Alice Coltrane. Holy Mountain. Dinuguan. These are a few of my favorite things. Hopefully, I can find others that appreciate the lesser known pleasures.

For upscale + underground

Sounds, Cinema and Cuisine

Check out my new blog:

THE DARK DELUXE

Auto-Sthenolagnia: My Search for a Fitness Dom

I envision him...

Prying my jaws open with his thumbs,

Pouring protein shakes slowly down my throat.

"That's a good boy."

Jogging besides me,

Tanning my hide when my pace slows to a crawl.

Counting my reps,

Forcing me to lift more than I've ever had,

"C'mon! Push it out!"

For the last few months, I've been looking for a "Fitness Dom". It's like a workout partner, with a BDSM aspect. This would be just the catalyst I need to break through to the next level. Having a kinky companion to weight train and run with me, would be a great addition to my life. I am in love with the idea of being tangibly transformed by a relationship.

I envision him...

Pulling the shirt up from my sweating torso,

"You're looking real good there, Boy."

Prying my jaws open with his thumbs,

He shakes protein in spurts down my throat.

"That's a good boy."

In my book, sex doesn't only make everything better, it makes everything okay. If he wanted to bind my arms and lock me onto a StairMaster for hours... If he wanted to greet each rep of my sit-ups with his erection... If he wants to swat my ass to add speed to my squats...That would be fine by me! Ultimately, I believe that I would accomplish more under his discipline than my own. Plus, the reward of sexual favors would be a great motivator.

I've been posting ads here and there, with little luck. People find the prospect of forced exercise and diet domination alluring, but I haven't found anyone willing to go all the way. The people I have encountered are there intellectually, but the problem seems to lie in the transition from theory to triceps extensions. Another bump in the road: finding someone fit enough themselves to take on the challenge. It's one thing to shout orders in between fistfuls of popcorn, but I'm looking for someone who's also looking to transform.

For now, I'll continue to fantasize. Nude yoga and stretching. Long distance runs to an erotic end. A thousand and one ways to take a protein shake. I'm sure something will come up. Maybe someone would read this post and respond?

Keep Fighting

For we may walk in flesh,

we do not war according to the flesh,

for the weapons of our warfare are not of flesh,

but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses.

(2 Corinthians 10:3-4)

Keep fighting...For the spoils of war could still be yours. Despite your wounds, the mortal blow has yet to be delivered. Do not forfeit your grip from your sword's handle...victory hasn't escaped you.

The barrier of your flesh may be broken. The integrity of your bones may have wilted. But, what better shield than a man's heart and spirit?

Triumph dangles right before your battle-blinded eyes. Victory is still within the reach of your broken limbs. Draw from it. Reach with all your will...See with the vision inside your faith...Draw from it.