"Ewww" + "Yum!" = ????

     Conflicting.  Contradicting.  Confusing.  A strand of experiences swells in my mind, turning my stomach, activating my gag reflex; yet, hardening my erection.  Have you ever experienced disgust and arousal simultaneously?
     The internal civil war excites me.  Self-preservation dukes it out with my curiosity.  My logic argues with the strange, silent pervert dwelling within.  This conflict gives me the dissonance I've grown to really like; the sensation of being pulled in two different directions.
     There is also the element of fear during this dynamic.  If I find a climax within the disgust, would that transform me in to the very thing I loathe?  If I find the silver lining of pleasure within an otherwise fucked situation, would that take me a step further than curious?  Is this the nasty broth of which fetishes are born?
     

     The portfiloio of Daikichi Amono epitomizes the erotic-repulsive cocktail I speak of.  When confronted by something toxic, I love the way my body responds.  Launching adrenaline...Heightening my senses... I also love betraying my instincts, diving deeper into the danger.  (Within reason, of course.)

Folsom Street Fair 2010: The Gallery of the Absurd

 Does anyone know who this man is?

One leg is crawling with the alphabet...

His head: adorned by a bullhorn...

An alien life form sprouting from his loins...

If anyone knows who he is, forward me his info.

     One reason I found the Folsom Street Fair very touching: it served as a creative outlet for many artists.  Attempting to express their complex and unique sexualities, the final results were otherworldly.

     I was delighted to see so many oddities, so many with the "WTF" factor. People displayed abstraction and surrealism as a form of lingerie.  It was incredible! I love and need to experience things that makes me scratch my head.

     Next year, I think I may give it a try.  How would my sexuality look on the surface?  How would people respond to it?  I better get started on it now, it may take a year to perfect! I have a feeling my costume will incorporate mirrors...

Erotophonophilia: Arousal by Murder

Irrational.  Inconsolable.  Interesting.  

     You had to get inside me...one way or another.  Curiosity lead your fists more than hatred.  You struck fear into your own heart, envisioning this pretty face wrapped around your erection.  Cursing your nostrils, my scent was translated as beautiful before you could rationalize.  Grabbing my arms, thrusting me to the floor; internally, you noted how soft my skin was.

     Is there another knife in your trousers?  Or are you getting aroused as you command your friends, "Hold him down!"  My shirt: removed.  My arms: held over my head.  My endurance: turns you on.  In your fucked up, twisted mind, my screams, the grunts and heavy breathing of your gang...reminds you of the secret stash under your mattress.

     This would've worked out much differently if we were alone.  You would've chosen another method to teach me a lesson.  Your blade wouldn't make you so envious.  But, alas, you'd be next if they knew.  Your blood would soak the pavement if they realized the truth.  You hate fags because you hate yourself.  You hate this fag in particular because I was too damn pretty for your comfort.

You may have destroyed my body, 

But my spirit will accompany you.

Ultimately, I've always been more curious about you.

     I'll hand you the lube when you are "checking your e-mail".  I'll sit on the edge of my seat when your girlfriends' fingers get too wondrous.  I'll rejoice in your accelerated heart rate and sweating...as Craig's List gets more and more tempting.  When you finally answer that ad, I wonder if he'd look like me.  You had to get inside of me...one way or another.

Raccoonnook

When I stumbled upon his/their work,

My mind was instantly filled with fiction and narrative.

The art is rich with color and inertia

Full of untold stories and forgotten folktales

This artist inspired me to write something "out there"

I'm inspired to the extent of fear and bravery

Moonstruck: What the Fuck?

     If I saw this smile pasted on the face of a child, I would assume she was up to mischief.  I would assume something terrible was done or in preparation.  Pretty.  Pristine.  Her smile compels me to keep an watchful eye on her.

Her smile gives me cause to worry

Wondrous

Wicked

Warning

     When it’s playtime, she breaks out her latest batch of ‘pervertibles’; household items that are used for perverse purposes. Withdrawing these items one by one, my adrenaline starts to rush. I’m gonna get it.

Rulers

Bamboo Skewers

Clothespins

Ping Pong Paddle

     Assuming the position, I lie on my stomach and arch my ass upward.  Curiosity and fear creates a crazy cocktail.  Beginning with the small skewers, she threw off my expectation by start softly and off beat.  Gradually, her strikes grew harder and faster; as did my yelps.  I love the contradiction between my cries and welcoming body language.  No matter the pain, I should ready and eager to receive another one.
     I sounded like a puppy begging for the attention if his master.  Whimpering, clawing at the mattress; I wanted to run away.  I wanted to use our safe word, “Yellow”, but I also wanted to see this to the end.  At the tail end of this torture, I knew there was treasure.
     After an anatomical tour with rulers, she returned to her bag of tricks.  Pulling out a purple silk scarf, I was confused by her arsenal.  Rubbing my thighs and ass with the satin, I looked back to see her smiling.  She was being so gentile…so soft.  Speaking in baby talk, “I love my boy.”  My mind took a u-turn. I started to imagine this moment being a trap to lower my anticipation, a decoy, a "pump-fake".
     She was being so gentile…so soft, I started to expect the worst. Showering me with affection, she gushes, “You know how much your Mama loves you?”  My mind started to fill with giant, sharp, blunt objects. Painful, traumatic abuse to counteract with this moment of smoothness.

I snapped!

     I screamed, “You’re scaring me!” I twist body away from her.
     Concerned, she asks, “Why? What am I doing?”
     Sounding like a big bitch, “You’re trying to trick me!”
     Trying to calm me down, hushing me, “I can’t be gentile? Must everything pleasant be met with something tragic?” Holding me in her arms, I felt like crying. It took me a while to return.

Was this the treasure I sought to find?

What the fuck happened?

     The only model I'm really into, Sasha Marini, always manages to be in high-concept pieces.  In "Rape", photographed by Roger Nicotera, we find Sasha in a real Roman jail.  Even in the midst of dirty mattresses and subterranean grit, Sasha shines like a morsel of gold.

View the rest of this spread:

HERE

?????: Josef Michel's Latest

It is a rare occasion

when I'm totally confused.

Typically,

I can always find the erotic quality,

To understand what someone could find arousing...

Today marks the day I am stumped...

Before saying anything else,

I would like to present to you a series by Josef Michel.

It would be greatly appreciated if everyone could weigh in

and help me understand.

For those that find this arousing

I'd like to know why.

All judgment aside,

I truly want to grasp what makes this sexy.

Josef's work with Eli Floyd sent me to the gym...

This set with Matt McDermitt,
may send me to the psych ward

Warning: the following images can be disturbing (seriously)...

Follow me after the jump...