Auto-Sthenolagnia: I wish a motherfucker would...

"Get it up there, boy!"

"C'mon! Push that shit up!"

"One more fuckin' to go! Don't be a pussy, dude!"

(((SLAP!)))

 

     Staring into the mirror, I almost dropped a 40 lbs dumbbell on my foot.  I was already distracted by watching the reflection of these studs bench press, they were clearly on the road to perfection.  Watching one guy struggle and grunt as the other shouted with a prison yard's tenor absorbed by attention.  Witnessing the spotter slap the guy in the face made me almost lose my shit!  The loud, reverberating smacking sound.  The sweaty muscles flexing as he reached down and popped him one.  The stern look on the cocky motherfucker's face.  I almost broke my foot because all the blood rushed from my biceps to form an erection.

 I love strange mixtures like these.

     Black people have this saying, whenever someone has the potential to infuriate us, we'd think/say, "I wish he would."  We wish for the opportunity, a time where an ass whuppin' is appropriate.  We think of all the horrible stuff we would do in response and "wish he would."  While one side of myself, born and raised in Detroit, said, "I wish he would slap me in public!"  Another side of me, the raging freak, really wished he would!  I wanted to be the one under that barbell, I wanted to see that stern look from underneath.  I wanted to feel that jolt of adrenaline assisting me to finish that set.

     The funniest thing about this: I seemed to the be the only one in the gym that noticed.  I looked around and no one else batted an eyelash as the abuse continued, "Push that weight!"  The guy on the bottom grunted like he was transforming into The Hulk.  (((SLAP!)))  "One more rep! Don't bitch out on me!"  Maybe this is a normal scene at the 24 hour fitness?

     Although being slapped in public is humiliating in itself, I could see the undercurrent of encouragement. Being stricken does have the ability to disembody, relieving a tendency to psych oneself out.  This kind of pressure peering down on you seems conducive to breaking through personal plateaus.  Isn't this the same pressure used to build soldiers?

     I think I could really get into a forced bench press scene.  I need a personal trainer with a sexy, mean streak!   I would prefer a more private setting, so he could motivate my masochistic side more thoroughly.  Slap my face.  Punch me in the chest.  Pull my hair.  A private setting would also allow me to have a reservoir for my arousal.  It would be interesting to not have to choose between flaccidity and breaking my foot.