Twin Crushes: Fear & The Future

My Flesh: Thin Ice
My Mind: Eggshells
My Soul: Boundless

I fear that my integrity
may be crushed under the pressure of my ambition.

I fear that my desires and dreams
will surpass my capacity, begetting debt.

I fear my limbs may snap beneath the weight of my dreams' flexibility.

Fear is my fuel.

My prayers run faster than the world spins
My farsighted eyes become blind to the present moment
My marathon motives prove too taxing for my virgin legs

The future baits me astray....

     I may come off as masochistic, but I am really a coward attempting to become refined.  Diamonds are created under pressure.  Oppression is the milk of warriors.  I'm searching for the strength that comes from finding peace within suffering.
     When Life strikes me, I fold under its mighty blow.  When the world wraps it's fingers around my throat, I writhe and whine from discomfort.  But, with each bout, I undoubtedly grow stronger.  With each pass through the flames, I become a bit purer.
     Through bondage and S&M, this principal has become abundantly clear to me.  In spite of being rendered a panicked and broken man...In spite of freezing into fetal position...In spite of naked forfeitures, I return to Life's boudoir with a little more endurance.

Thank you, Life, for training me.
Thank you, World, for not sparing the rod
I promise, one day I'll be powerful enough to return the favor...

Above images are from "Book A" by Vangelis Efthymiou

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