No one inspires more blasphemy
No other group fills my heart with more contempt
I can write a thousand 'partialism' posts
I hate athletes!
Every Olympic game reminds me:
All men are NOT created equal!
For a long time, I have found much comfort in the idea that most athletes were illiterate simpletons. It's a relieving theory that these gods are actually on steroids, thus having a tiny micro-penis. And if all disillusions fail, I can assume that they are big assholes who are terrible, bad people: wife beaters and dog kickers. Desperately clinging to anything that debunks their superiority, I'm running out of hypotheses
Scientifically speaking, the genetic package that gives athletes an advantage, also blesses them with symmetrical features and a mesomorphic build. In other words; they are bred to be super sexy. Furthermore, the constant training also increases brain function and sexual prowess. Overall, they are possibly just better people...there is no God...
Another disappointing truth, being buff and beautiful doesn't guarantee heathen-like behavior. I've had the pleasure of hanging around some gorgeous Oakland Raiders and they're actually educated, fun, down-to-earth guys. I was waiting for the arrogance, maybe some violent misogyny; no such luck. Surprisingly conservative, these guys merely wanted to settle into a nice traditional family life.
What does that mean for us?
I believe that our current status, whether superior or inferior, is a composite of our lifestyle and choices leading up to today. It isn't too late to change your diet. Gym memberships are cheaper than ever. Some benefit packages are starting to cover cosmetic surgery. When you think about at it, we worship athletes because they are a high quality picture of health and discipline. Hence, we could be like them by embodying those same qualities.
If we get it together,
We could be in great shape
Just before they all die of AIDS from fucking hundreds of groupies.
Prayerfully, Magic Johnson's stingy with the cure...
The envy inducing photos are from Rick Day's "Players" collection...
Wanna get rid of that pesky confidence?