Deadly Sin #6: Envy

B

     The erection doesn't sprout as expected.  Clicking through the slideshow, my pants doesn't inflate with the usual steel.  Cobblestone Abs.  Pillar-like Thighs.  Thick Hamstrings.  Display after display of strength and power, my blood takes a detour elsewhere.  Rippling calves burns into my eyes.  Square jawlines gnaw into my memory.  Arms that could build nations hammer away into my soul.  The erection doesn't sprout as I expected, instead, another part of me awakens.
     Racing with a chubby lump bouncing at my crotch, I find myself jogging to the gym.  Images of perfection flashes through my mind, adding length to my strides.  Plump glutes could be mine.  Chiseled V-shaped frames.  Defined deltoids.  I feel like a diesel engine fueled by envy; coveting which each blast of its pistons.  I will be better if it kills me.
     I imagine the upkeep necessary for one of those glorious bodies and how much I've been neglecting mine.  Twenty-piece nuggets.  Volcano hard tacos.  Cheese filled pizza rolls.  I sentenced myself to forty-five minutes on the Stairmaster.  An hour on the treadmill, with full incline.  At this moment, I become a self-indulgent sadomasochist.  Preacher curls...bench presses...dumbbell squats become my weapons of choice to beat the dwarf within to submission. 
       Perhaps there is another use to pornography besides being a masturbatory tool.  Maybe there is a stimulating quality beyond sexual.  I know: I'm playing with fire.  I know: I'm chasing a phantom.  But, I think I need to feel like shit to wield the results I'm looking for.  My feelings of inferiority gives me strength.  Comparing myself to gods, keeps the indwelling sloth at bay.

I will be better if it kills me.

     The images above are from Rick Day's new collection, PIONEERS.  I really can't explain it: Day's work turns me green with envy!  Every time without fail, I'm heading to the gym or towards the ground for some impromptu push-ups.  I'm infuriated to the degree that the images aren't erotic, they're purely motivational.

No one else's work gets this response from me

I have no explanation.