The erection doesn't sprout as expected. Clicking through the slideshow, my pants doesn't inflate with the usual steel. Cobblestone Abs. Pillar-like Thighs. Thick Hamstrings. Display after display of strength and power, my blood takes a detour elsewhere. Rippling calves burns into my eyes. Square jawlines gnaw into my memory. Arms that could build nations hammer away into my soul. The erection doesn't sprout as I expected, instead, another part of me awakens.
Racing with a chubby lump bouncing at my crotch, I find myself jogging to the gym. Images of perfection flashes through my mind, adding length to my strides. Plump glutes could be mine. Chiseled V-shaped frames. Defined deltoids. I feel like a diesel engine fueled by envy; coveting which each blast of its pistons. I will be better if it kills me.
I imagine the upkeep necessary for one of those glorious bodies and how much I've been neglecting mine. Twenty-piece nuggets. Volcano hard tacos. Cheese filled pizza rolls. I sentenced myself to forty-five minutes on the Stairmaster. An hour on the treadmill, with full incline. At this moment, I become a self-indulgent sadomasochist. Preacher curls...bench presses...dumbbell squats become my weapons of choice to beat the dwarf within to submission.
Perhaps there is another use to pornography besides being a masturbatory tool. Maybe there is a stimulating quality beyond sexual. I know: I'm playing with fire. I know: I'm chasing a phantom. But, I think I need to feel like shit to wield the results I'm looking for. My feelings of inferiority gives me strength. Comparing myself to gods, keeps the indwelling sloth at bay.
I will be better if it kills me.
The images above are from Rick Day's new collection, PIONEERS. I really can't explain it: Day's work turns me green with envy! Every time without fail, I'm heading to the gym or towards the ground for some impromptu push-ups. I'm infuriated to the degree that the images aren't erotic, they're purely motivational.
No one else's work gets this response from me
I have no explanation.