After plunging headfirst into the world of Sadomasochists and fetishists, I am realizing that everything doesn't have to be so hardcore. Don't get me wrong, I still believe that pain and pleasure make wonderful companions. I still enjoy the friction that comes with squeezing square pegs into round holes. I am still very much so a fetishist.
I am learning that everything has its place. Sex and lovemaking isn't this linear slope starting at making out and resulting in watersports! Sex can be a delicious composite of S&M and tenderness, quiet whispers and loud skin slapping. (This feels like a novice epiphany, but I never claimed to be an expert.)
Practicing BDSM, I grew to hate how impact play would get increasing more painful. I secretly wished that in between swats, there were some genuine affection: kisses and caresses. I am turned off when a sexual session turns into an endurance game of "How much can you take?"
The same woman I can fit my fists into, needs to be touched ever so gently. The gentleman who loves to piss on me, craves the warmth of eye contact and intimacy. Jaded ears that perk at the sound of "Bitch!" and "Slut!" could use some encouragement in between degradation. I marvel at our range and complexity.
It feels good to give myself license to be both sensual and 'hardcore',
Whatever the hell that means.
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| "The Creator of Devotion" by Matthew Stone & Matthew Josephs |
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