Siamese Soul: Desire & Doubt

In the stillness of night, Desire dreams aloud,
“Wouldn’t it be great to travel out east?”
Doubt‘s discomfort survives dusk,
“This time of year? The Sun would surely scorch us both.”


Once upon a time,
There were two brothers by the name of Desire & Doubt…
Siamese twins conjoined by the head.


Completely isolated by their connection,
They were helplessly fused together by both flesh and loneliness.


Desire & Doubt would whisper they’re thoughts into each other’s ear
With a childlike enthusiasm, Desire gushes,
“Wouldn’t it be fun to sail the Pacific?”
Cynically, Doubt jokes,
“About as fun as treading water, waiting for help to arrive.”


Despite their annoyingly different views,
They trade thoughts every, single night.
Its hard to keep your thoughts to yourself
when you share the same head.


     Doubt taints my every desire.  Probable misfortune plagues my every aspiration.  Can’t I dream free from calculation?  Can’t I dream free from inspection?  Weighing the risks with the rewards, there is always a discrepancy.  There are no shortages of reasons to keep fantasies apart from reality.

This frustrates me.

     I fear that I am becoming more and more estranged with awareness.  I just don’t want to know anymore.  Success rates.  Side effects.  Safety and prevention.  “The last guy who tried that.”  I want to wipe my mind clean of all information, sometimes.  I want to experience something fresh, without the instant staleness of assumption.  Dangerous, I know; but what isn’t these days?
     Lately, I have been asking Doubt a stupid question, “Why not?”  There are many answers…many risks…many cautionary tales.  The logical side of my mind eventually gets exhausted.  My knowledge of history, statistics and Bible stories are depleted after a day or two.  Then I do it anyways!  I invest my money in a crazy business venture.  I jeopardize my day job to indulge in rock star dreams.  I meet the creepy guy at the bar for drinks.
     I guess, the trick is becoming comfortable with doubt whispering in my ear.  Being aware of the risks and becoming okay with the fact that I may have a setback.  Reckless, I know.  But, this frustration is agonizing.  At this point, I’m driven crazy by, “What if?”  I’m prepared to borrow money from my mom.  I’m not to proud  to beg my boss for forgiveness.  I can deal with breaking out the pepper spray and catching a cab home.

What’s life without a little sunburn?
     I am pleased to present the latest work of Gonzalo Bénard, featuring jewelry from Valentim Quaresma.  Once again, I am blown away by the profound concept lacing his art!  I am falling deeper and deeper in love with this man!
     In this set, I am reminded of the beauty that comes with instability. Model, Arthur Jacob, indulges, ponders and chokes within his duality.  I can't help but recall Apostle James' warnings of becoming double minded. (James 4:8)

I urge everyone to visit Gonzalo Bénard's website:


Every image is a pleasurable parable...
A nude revelation.
 

2 comments:

TICKLEBEAR said...

i will not say much as i would tend to be the doubt to your desire. i'll just say some bagage oughta be left behind... once and for all!!
:)~
HUGZ

but i am not doubt, i am actually cynicism...

Forbidden Light said...

Ah, my cousin, Cynicism! LOL

Cynicism is a fearless form of doubt... And much more clever!

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