His energy level was off the charts, very enthusiastic and excitable. He had a beautiful boyish grin framed by a lightly dusted goatee. Every time he swatted my thigh, I found his touch playful and refreshing…but, of course, still arousing.
Of course, my inner thoughts began to chatter…
“He probably makes the sweetest faces.”
“I bet you, he’s squeaky clean…down there."
"I can see it now: pretty, pink and tight.”
“He has pretty feet; I can tell. What are those? A size eight?”
Declining in altitude, I started to ask about his plans in San Diego; internally hoping we could hang out while I was there. Smiling even brighter, he chirps, “I’m actually in town for a revival; Joel Olsteen‘s speaking!” I was shocked! I thought he was flaming; turns out he was on fire for Jesus! Is my gaydar broken or what?
Throughout the trip he was resting his hand on my shoulder. While maintaining complete eye contact, he gave me his blue eyed, undivided attention. Am I a pervert for thinking he was flirting? Is it possible to be that innocent and naïve in this day and age? My head was spinning as he handing me a flyer for ‘Christ Watch 2010’.
This has me thinking. The one thing that gay men and Christian Fundamentalists have in common is their ability to access their inner child. Both eschewing the traditional ideas of masculinity, exuberance is embraced. Homosexual men tend to define their own brand of manhood by sometimes returning to a state of innocence, before gender roles were assigned. Christ says that the childlike shall gain access to Heaven.
It's very uplifting to see adults that are impressionable and wondrous like children. I hate that society suggests that men should be stiff and unimpressed. It’s beautiful to see men comfortable enough to laugh without composure…to smile until their cheeks hurt…to watch cartoons…to wear bright colors. Things shouldn’t be so serious.
However, let’s remember:
Acting happy and acting gay was once synonymous.
(And actually still is.)