Hang-Up #3: Ill-written Ads



      I recently had a discussion with the illustrious Toddy English about hooking up on the internet.  Boasting about the great luck we've been having, we began to break down the deciding factors involved when selecting a candidate.  On-line, the pictures always reek of anonymity.  There's hundreds of abbreviations and acronyms, of which I barely understand.  Other than the stats, freaky-beautiful-endowed, what inspires us to click the 'reply' button?
     The very top of our list is being a good writer; a personally written paragraph is the perfect place to paint a portrait.  Not necessarily the vocabulary.  Primarily, I look for well-organized thoughts.  Intense, in-depth descriptions help.  ALSO, I AM INSTANTLY TURNED OFF BY ADS WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS LIKE THIS.  If I've clicked on your profile or ad, there's no need to get my attention because you already have it. 
     My school of thought: If you can't order your words, how can I trust your mouth with this precious cargo?  If its hard for you to get your intentions across, how much harder would it be to make good on your misspelled promises?  If you can't take the time to clearly write one paragraph, what else are you going to rush through?  If I answer your ad, what would that tell you about me for responding?

Here's an honest-to-God, unabridged Craig's List Ad:

HARD THICK 9 READY TO PLZ YOUR AZZ AND THOAT


IF U ARE SMOOTH AND BT LET ME KNOW SEND ME U INF AND PIC AND I WILL DRIVE TO U NO PIC NO RESPONT

    

5 comments:

Toy Couture said...

While your commentary had me in an erotic zone that craigslist ad totally ushered me out. Ughh :(

Forbidden Light said...

Yeah, unfortunately, a good number of ads look like that...The thugs I know have the gift of gab, these guys are just urban neanderthals...

Color me judgemental, but I assume a lot of shortcomings along with that writing style...

TICKLEBEAR said...

i often consider myself a cromagnon, but i did, once... write an ad and was voted by the staff as the ad-of-the-week... and go NO REPLY WHATSO EVER.... what does it say about mankind????? all hormones, no wits?
romantism is dead and so is intelligence. the web has not done wonder to make mankind step beyond its primal self...
oh well!!!

Forbidden Light said...

@Mr. Bear: If I ran across your ad, I'd probably bite; there is a scary shortage of intelligence...I often think that one should dumb down their delivery to get they young and stupid (but sexy) guys...

By the way, I looked up "Cromagnon" it pretty much mean caveman! LOL You learn something new everyday...

Garçon Stupide said...

That ad did have me chuckling.

I agree that a well written statement is a big selling point, but we can't deny it's sometimes just physical - and sometimes, a good picture, or a very good descriptive picture, can sell it.

And you can be too clever. Look at this guy:

http://www.fitlads.net/members/gallery.php?showid=274452

It just says to me: "I'm smarter than you. I'm better than you. Speak to me and I'll crush your puny intellect with my brilliance."

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