Walking along the harbor today, I caught a beautiful glimpse of a terrible revelation. In one eyeful, I realized that I am, and has always been, attracted to men that had the qualities from my wishlist. I saw a tall, golden gentleman with beefy, muscular calves and strong thighs and hamstrings. As he jogged past me, his big curly afro waved in the wind. I couldn't keep my neck from turning with him as his gorgeous body blessed my sight. He was everything I wanted and everything I wanted to be. In that instant, I realized that there was a connecting point between lust and envy for me. I was mad at God and praised Him simultaneously. My stomach tied into a knot as an erection unraveled and stood straight up. Goddamn.
Is that why opposites attract? Because the grass is always greener, thus, we date who we wish to be? That may be the case for me. With men, on some instinctive level, I assume I'll become more like them if I hang around them. Maybe I'll be more like them if I touch enough of them, worship enough of them, ingest enough of them. I have discovered that I am seeking another brand of procreation.
Analyzing my attraction to women, I saw the same thing. However, I am attracted to women who have the features I would want to pass on to my children. Paying attention to my thought patterns, I saw that I was calculating the combination of our features.
Does: My Chicken Legs + Her Cankles = Muscular Calves for my son?
Does: My Crooked Teeth + Her Pretty Smile = Straight Teeth for my daughter?
I know that envy and hate typically goes hand and hand, but maybe I have my wires crossed. Does anyone else feel this way?