Chremastistophilia: The Brighter Side of Being Burglarized

     While in Berkeley watching a new movie, "Red Cliff", my brother started to call my phone.  After ignoring it three times, I walked out of the theater to answer the fourth time.  My jaw dropped to hear that my apartment has been broken into.  My iPods, lap tops, jewelry and cash has been stolen.  A deep sensation of violation filled my core.  It's a terrible feeling to have something of yours taken.  I felt betrayed by The Universe at large.
     Getting home, I walked into my bedroom to find it in shambles.  The culprit went through my drawers, closet and under my bed, searching for everything of value.  Taking inventory of everything taken, I was shocked to see that the thief has also scavenged through my beloved "Sexbox 360"!  Instead of turning the box upside down and dumping out the contents, I could tell the burglar went through each item...

Magnum Condoms

Cock Rings

Leather Collars

Leather Chastity Belt

Vaccuum Pumps

Hitachi Wand

Beginners' Bondage Kit

Vibrators

Anal Beads

Lube

     As terrible as I felt, I couldn't help but feel a little relieved he/she decided to take a few of my cock rings, lube and condoms.  In a very strange way, I felt appreciated for my secret stash.  I wonder what the thief thought of my porn collection stored on my laptop?  The thought of turning someone out with my pornographic tastes arouses me a bit.  If he takes even a glimpse, he will never be the same...unless he's already into that kind of thing...

     Overall, this experience ruined my Christmas.  I hope the asshole pays for his/her sins in a deep, painful way.  However, I've learned to applaud my ability to convert everything into sex.  I'm quite sure it's my natural way of coping with upsetting circumstances.  Turning madness into fetish is my specialty.  Thank God for a twisted, yet creative, mind.

     The craziest thing about this: I kind of hope it was someone that knows me.  I want to see the blush spread across his cheeks as he remember his dirty discoveries.  An awkward smile would speak volumes.  God forbid, witnessing a tell-tale erection...for my digital pornographic library is, indeed, dirty...