Chremastistophilia: The Brighter Side of Being Burglarized



     While in Berkeley watching a new movie, "Red Cliff", my brother started to call my phone.  After ignoring it three times, I walked out of the theater to answer the fourth time.  My jaw dropped to hear that my apartment has been broken into.  My iPods, lap tops, jewelry and cash has been stolen.  A deep sensation of violation filled my core.  It's a terrible feeling to have something of yours taken.  I felt betrayed by The Universe at large.
     Getting home, I walked into my bedroom to find it in shambles.  The culprit went through my drawers, closet and under my bed, searching for everything of value.  Taking inventory of everything taken, I was shocked to see that the thief has also scavenged through my beloved "Sexbox 360"!  Instead of turning the box upside down and dumping out the contents, I could tell the burglar went through each item...

Magnum Condoms
Cock Rings
Leather Collars
Leather Chastity Belt
Vaccuum Pumps
Hitachi Wand
Beginners' Bondage Kit
Vibrators
Anal Beads
Lube

     As terrible as I felt, I couldn't help but feel a little relieved he/she decided to take a few of my cock rings, lube and condoms.  In a very strange way, I felt appreciated for my secret stash.  I wonder what the thief thought of my porn collection stored on my laptop?  The thought of turning someone out with my pornographic tastes arouses me a bit.  If he takes even a glimpse, he will never be the same...unless he's already into that kind of thing...
     Overall, this experience ruined my Christmas.  I hope the asshole pays for his/her sins in a deep, painful way.  However, I've learned to applaud my ability to convert everything into sex.  I'm quite sure it's my natural way of coping with upsetting circumstances.  Turning madness into fetish is my specialty.  Thank God for a twisted, yet creative, mind.
     The craziest thing about this: I kind of hope it was someone that knows me.  I want to see the blush spread across his cheeks as he remember his dirty discoveries.  An awkward smile would speak volumes.  God forbid, witnessing a tell-tale erection...for my digital pornographic library is, indeed, dirty...

10 comments:

Toy Couture said...

I'm immensely sorry to hear of your break in. I guess since I'm an avid reader of your blog I feel like it was me. People work hard to obtain what they have so I too hope Karma bites his ass 10 fold.

On a differant note the erotic twist you put on the experience was nice!! :)

Forbidden Light said...

Thank You, Mr. Couture! You made me smile today.

I place thieves on the top on my "ain't-shit" list. But I realize that I have this natural reflex to find the kink in all things! LOL I'll be truly fucked up before this life is over...

Cogent Ascending said...

I love that even if someone shot you in the leg, stole your car, and then ran you over with it at least all of us could breath a little easier knowing without a doubt you died with an intense diamond hard erectiom.
LOL.
I'm REALLY sorry to hear you got robbed though now I'm also intensely curious to know what was in your freaking porn collection.

Forbidden Light said...

@Cogent: LMAO! Damn, am I that freaky? I guess I am a sexual-optimist...

As for my porn collection: Thank God I keep back-ups of everything...That would've been very sad...

TICKLEBEAR said...

shameful that happened to you. and you definitely managed to surprise me with this unexpected twist. let's hope your anticipation get its reward and you come face-to-face with him. pretty sure it's a he...
can i still wish you a happy new year, or will that jinx it for you?
the locks are changed, right?!
:)~
HUGZ

Garçon Stupide said...

Being burglarised is one of my worst nightmares. I can't imagine a worse violation (although I'm sure you can).

I don't keep back-ups - I've got a nearly 1GB removable harddrive of porn with no idea how to back it up without great expense...

ignats82 said...

I feel that I should sad that you got robbed, but I can't tell if you are really sad. It sounds like someone has finally sprung the trap you set.

Happy hunting. I hope you get your stuff back.

Forbidden Light said...

@Ignats82: I try not to let things get me down...After an adjustment of my expectations, I try to live life as usual.

I look for the lesson in everything...If there's nothing to learn, I'll find the fetish! LOL

ToddyEnglish said...

I think this sucks. I hope that if he uses your anal beads he gets ring around the booty. Well, I am glad you are alright!

On that note Cagent made me laugh. Forbidden, I too am convinced that if you were in a McDonald's and some evil Samurai walked in and decapitated every single person you'd be back with a post like...
"Partialism: Decapitation" LOL

Forbidden Light said...

@Toddy: LMAO!!! "Partialism: Decapitation" OMG, you guys are killing me!

You guys really help to lighten the mood, I am so grateful to have you guys in my life...

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