Fun with Polyamory: The Feminine Void



     Update: I have fallen in love with a couple. I’m sweetly confused because I like each man individually, yet loving their union much more.  One being a Taurus and the other a Cancer, I fit snuggly in between with my Gemini contribution.  Do I provide balance?  Or am I fun third wheel?  It is very strange, how being involved with a triad gives me the freedom and acceptance I so sorely need.  Revolving around them, I occasionally land for a night or two, only to fly back to my single life as usual.  No one’s lonely or requesting more; it’s quite perfect…almost.
     When you cross three, versatile men, you can imagine the infinite possibilities.  I’ve been bent into every direction, every dimension; I’ve been the recipient and the projector, sometimes simultaneously.  Every time we make love, I feel as if something of cosmic proportions happens; as if I mailed a package to God’s Address…and He signed for it!  I feel so charged when I am around them; I can’t keep my hands to myself.  Alternately, I am so fulfilled when I go home; sex/love is the last thing on my mind…unless the number three pops up.
     There is one thing that has kept me perplexed since we’ve been together: There’s a small void.  We’re all bisexual, thus, to a degree there’s still enough room for a woman.  Isn’t that amazing?  Despite the advanced trick where I open my mouth wide enough to take both their cocks.  Despite the ever revolving, four handed massages which leave no one left out. 

Despite the 69-ing/1 & the gay-sex-cubed, there’s still unknown variable: woman. 

     What's the value of this variable?  I don’t know.  Now, I'm famous for intelsexualizing the bare basics and missing the point entirely. I’m ashamed to admit that pondering a woman’s worth is giving me a headache.

(1) It’s beyond sexual, for we have all of the orifices we need.
(2) It’s beyond domestic, for everyone can cook and clean very well.
(3) It’s beyond sensitivity and understanding, because we have expanded our masculinity to include it.
(4) It’s beyond everything I’ve been taught that women are supposed to provide.

Yet the void persists…

     I really hate to pose this question, but what's so special about women? I know there has to be some value, but it’s hard to not see a man with those same qualities. Outside of childbirth, beautiful breasts and soft skin, I am short on answers.  For example, I truly love my mother, I think she is an incredible person; but can her qualities be attributed to femininity? Or is she independently great outside of gender?

Could someone help me out with this?

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

People just get more retarded and weird each day!

Forbidden Light said...

I know, I felt retarded asking, but the question sincerely exists. Its funny how something can be considered basic at one point, yet obscure and immaterial in another moment.

Thank you for commenting!

Wonder Man said...

I don't have an answer, but it's interesting

Anonymous said...

I dunno man. Ive been reading your blog from the start up til now this current post and I just dont know if this is right for you. You seem to be dealing with a lot more issues deeper inside and your exploration of these sexual themes and odd relationship patterns is you finding a way to cope. I dont think it will solve a lot of things that need be addressed deep inside nor will it go over for long because there willl come a time where these things must be addressed head on.


I think that the idea of these multiple partner relationships is quite simple for one person but not for the other 2 or however many. Its no different than mormons having 7 or 8 wives and 2million children. But not all wives are happy and a lot them feel used and left out. I just think these are things people create to deal with not having it all. I also commented on ur male blog post about polyamory. excuse my spelling lol.


I think there is a reason why these things never work out for too long. Its clearly written there in front of your face.

TICKLEBEAR said...

i couldn't answer this one...as women were never part of my sexual life, but as far as life itself, i don't know where i'd be if it were not for a few precious ones that have accompanied me thoughout my life. i just don't get those mysogyneous gays who totally shun women out of their lives, in all aspects.

Forbidden Light said...

@Anonymous II: You hit the nail on the head, my friend! A great deal of my explorations are attempts to discover more about myself.

With each experiment and experience, I realize that I'm not as off-beat as I thought.

I really appreciate you following, and even more so, I appreciate you commenting. The underline purpose of this blog is to find the humanity under all this kinky stuff!

Garçon Stupide said...

I'm deeply envious of your (very fulfilling) involvement with a male couple. The only thing better could be the coupling of two couples.

I have no interest in, or need for, women. They're totally irrelevant, outside of entertainment. Therefore, all I can offer is this: if you feel you need/want one involved, do so.

ToddyEnglish said...

It's strange but even though I'm gay as hell I love women. Not just entertainment wise either. Well, then again maybe it is entertainment wise...haha. I have a strong affinity for really powerful women. I think it's because women are always deemed the "weaker" sex...So, as a gay man I can relate because my sexuality is always a strike against me (as if I'm not as strong or courageous as a "real" man should be). Yet I still manage to be a really strong person capable of embracing his masculine and feminine side.

But naw...

I never have even the slightest inkling of what it would be like to sex a female! Hell, I tried to look at a heterosexual sex book and seeing the guy get down with a female just turned me right OFF...LOL.
Yeah, I worship at the alter of the goddess Beyonce but if she came in my room naked I'd just give her a towel.

As it is don't think too much on this situation (the threeway). Honey it is what it IS...a threesome. This is fleeting and will eventually come to an end. So just accept what it is and don't overanalyze it.

Cheers! =0)

Forbidden Light said...

@Toddy: I overanalyze EVERYTHING! That's my gift...that's my curse. It makes for a good blog, but it jams me up in real life...LOL

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