(The above photo is "Body Voice" by Erwin Olaf)
I am currently caught in a paradoxical phase in my life. While racing to fulfill my fantasies, I restrict myself to become more responsible and stable. I can’t wear certain clothes ever again, but I’m in the best shape I’ve ever been. I want to splurge and travel and experience the finer things in life, but I want to fiscally prepare for a family. I am so tired of life, however, I am on the cusp of living.
What’s so special about turning thirty?
I guess, 30 is the median of life expectancy. Plus, 30 marks the end of wild, idealistic behavior. Do I kill myself now or look forward to life with a wife and kids? Should I bury my dreams of being a best-selling author and rockstar? Or do I postpone them until I sixty? Will I still crave pussy, cock and rock n’ roll once I’m elderly? Probably not. But, on the other hand, 2025’s pharmaceuticals should do wonders! I'm sure, there will be a miracle drug that keeps my dick hard and my mind sharp.
Writing this blog, I decided to ride this dream until the wheels fall off. I don’t care if I’m thirty, I’m gonna keep wearing my spike collars and small t-shirts, maybe even get some piercings. To think of it, there’s tons of old guys at the Folsom Street Fair…that I don’t want to look like. No one wants to be that old man in the ass-less chaps! There has to be a happy, radical medium. There has to be a way to stay edgy while keeping my saggy cakes to myself.
Okay, here’s my plan. I’ll cruise along this tangent and, along the way, impregnate beautiful women on accident. I’ll be amazingly wayward and satisfactorily stable, letting God sort out the rest. I’ll live recklessly enough to die early, but disciplined enough to leave a genius body of work behind. And when my loved ones go through my possessions after I’ve passed on, hopefully they’d discover a kick-ass porn collection.
I look forward to living a Wikipedia-worthy life!